Circles

[The art for this blog is from a friend of mine, Jennifer Charleson, check out more of her amazing stuff]The circle is the perfect shape in nature. It is infinite, without a beginning or end. It reminds me of the cyclical nature of life, that all things continue. It makes the perfect symbol in a marriage ceremony, a reminder that a couple’s love is unending.I’m at a point where my life feels circular. Like I’ve been here before, like I’ve been wandering and just got back to the starting point again.I’ve heard myself say a number of times that there are two choices. I’m usually  telling a friend to keep dating a guy…or not. Or keep taking the same tack at work…or not. And what I’m trying to convey with this is, that there are always options. I just complicate them frequently.The choice to go back to treatment is a perfect example. My choices are: go to treatment and attempt to recover or keep going in the direction I’m headed which will ultimately lead to an untimely end. I don’t say that to shock or surprise, they are facts. I’m at a point of either saving myself… or dying.To most people, this is an easy decision. One side leads to so much harm, why would someone choose it? This is the difference between an eating disorder and normal eaters…compulsive eaters stop to consider it.This choice, this time is a chance to spiral up. To stop the circular nature of my existence and to point upward. Make a choice without a destination, just a slow process of getting better.Now.

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