Art imitates life: a Connor Rodriguez story

The quote in the featured photo says, “When the group therapist asks if anyone has any thoughts about that.” Connor drew the picture and the one in this post.

Connor has been creating these drawings and adding quotations that encapsulate mini-moments of feeling during the day in treatment.

Our typical day is very structured, we get up by 6am, provide vitals, like weight, temperature and blood pressure. We eat breakfast at 8am. We have a snack at 10am…and then we have group therapy for the rest of the day.

The groups are all different. Some of them are focused on us checking in about how we are doing, Others are focused on a particular topic, like relapse prevention. There are some focused on creative energy around art therapy or music therapy.

As I go through the day, there are moment in group that I dread.

We’re a group of people struggling for our lives, picking up the pieces of ourselves that we’ve scattered carelessly in our past. I’m not always eager to open up or take a chance in front of twenty other people that might leave me vulnerable. It feels safer to do what I’ve always done: hold the feelings inside, manage them, deny them, ship them one day guaranteed with Amazon Prime.

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As a result the WORST thing a therapist can do is leave it wide open to me, at least from my perspective. Do I have any thoughts? NO!

I’m learning to fill those spaces though. Speak up when I don’t want to voice my thought. Take a chance when it’s safer to be isolated.

Healing comes in fits and starts, one step forward, two steps back. It’s a quiet night sky with all the stars glistening and then one bright spark of a meteor across the sky.

I’m just gonna sit here.

Keep engaging, as I’m able.

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