Pizza makes me anxious.
Since I have a different relationship with food than most people, there are some foods that remind me of old times, almost like friends. Pizza is one of those. Since I’ve almost always eaten it as a binge food, it’s hard to think of it in a different way.
So I’m trying to break that pattern.
I’m at a place called Dewey’s tonight, having dinner by myself. I’m trying to engage with pizza in a way that feels healthy and enjoyable. In the past, it has been a source of feeling bad and even hating myself.
Starting with a salad, getting in some veggies and rounding out the meal.
Writing about it helps me to make it a creative experience which also reduces my anxiety.
Having an eating disorder means there will be lots of meals like this where I relearn how to interact with food, have a different relationship with it. I’m not here to cover up some feeling, I’m not eating to feel better…I’m eating for fuel.
Can I just say that any pizza that has artichoke hearts on it is ok by me? I had half Green Lantern and half Bronx Bomber. One is pesto and veggies the other is sausage and peppers. Yum!
I’m eating a couple slices which is enough for a meal. I will feel good about it. I’m even going to take some home and bring with me tomorrow.
Thanks for coming with me to Dewey’s. I needed the help.
If you decide to go, it has an open kitchen. And the cooks are cute too!