Deviate 2

[Posting in the voice of my eating disorder so this post includes adult language]

Me: So, it looks like I might be leaving soon. Insurance is saying I don’t need to stay any longer.

Eating Disorder: What the fuck does insurance know about us? You think you’re CURED? Ha!

Me: Well, I’ve been doing well here. Meals on my own are going ok. I feel much better. I’m sure it won’t be perfect but I think I can manage to set my life up to support recovery.

ED: How long have you had me? Decades. You think this is over? I won’t be ignored, Michael.

Me: I don’t intend to ignore you, I’m just not sure how prominent a place you’ll have. There’s a new order that works better, allows us to experience happiness, enables us to do things we love like hang gliding.

ED: But what happens when we’re scared or alone or overwhelmed?

Me: Then we can feel those feelings and manage them by talking to someone or going for a walk or writing.

ED: I’m not convinced.

Me: I know. It might be a while before you are. I’m ok with that.

ED: …

Me: You there?

ED: I’m here. My voice is quiet but I know you still hear me.

Me: I do. When I do, I try and remember what I owe you and honor the place that you occupied in my life for so long. You’re a good guy, really.

ED: Yeah, yeah, you sound like we’re in a therapy session! Jesus!

Me: <pats ED’s head> Lots more of that to come, my friend.

ED: <sticks out tongue>

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